The heart I choose to follow is what defines who I am and determines where I am going.

I graduated high school (in 2010) as an elite athlete at 136 lbs. Through the last eight years I’ve gained almost 100 lbs . Eventually the number on the scale stopped changing. It’s been steady for a while. A various number of biological and environmental factors have contributed to my weight gain to include birth control, slower metabolism, depression, etc. People look at me and think that I am undisciplined, that I can’t lose the weight because I’m not motivated too.

Those people aren’t totally wrong. I’m not motivated to make my sole focus my weight. I have more important things right in front of me that require more effort, more time, and more of my resources to achieve than simply just focusing on the weight.

I am college student, focused on getting my degree and moving my education forward. I spend time in the classroom, focused on the courses in front of me; I spend time at home locked in my room, pouring over the material; I spend time on the bus, roughly twenty five hours a week (that’s like a part time job!) commuting to school. I get up between 5am and 6:30am on any given week day to get ready for school; I return home early to midafternoon most days, having just enough time to do homework before it’s time for dinner. After dinner there is either more homework or personal hygiene to take care of. Once that is completed, it is already long past a decent sleeping hour, but I go to bed anyway, catching as much sleep as I can before having to start it all over again. The only time not spent focused on school is 50 minutes on Sunday evenings which are dedicated to playing soccer, where I can release all the stress from the week.

You can look at me and think I am undisciplined in my life because of my weight. But the truth is, just have drive and motivation in other areas of my life that matter more. Getting my degree so I can make my community a better place, placing the needs and future needs of others above my own is the vocation in which I have been called to serve-my weight doesn’t define me, the heart I choose to follow is what defines who I am and determines where I am going.