I am honestly just winging it

When people first look at me, they are often intimidated by my face, which often looks angry while walking from class to class. I come off really loud and energetic which makes it scary for others to approach me. Though I may give off a “don’t mess with me” aura, a lot of me is not shown. It takes many years to fully get to know me because I am so guarded, but when I trust someone, this “spiky fluff ball” can really open up.

Coming from a place of depression and anxiety, I have always needed something to look forward to in order to keep me going and help me get up. By always having some sort of goal, I can stay driven to continue each step in my life. Along with staying goal-oriented, having a steady support system of people is crucial to keep my mental health in check. Something that I have on my bucket list is to skydive and eventually travel to Japan. Aside from these short-term objectives, a lifelong goal of mine to achieve before I die is to not be impaired by my anxieties and own my own home.

I have been dancing since I was 3 and still enjoy it as a hobby. I love the feeling of dancing with raw emotion and not trying to be perfect but just feeling the music flow throughout my body. It is truly at this point when I feel the most beautiful and confident in myself. When I dance by myself, I enter a complete other world.

A misconception that I would like to erase about myself is that I know what I am doing, I am honestly just winging it. I think it’s funny how people think I am super confident and am not afraid. The phrase “fake it til you make it” has been very apparent in my life because of my musical theater background. I just wish people would know that I don’t know what I am doing, much like most people going through life.