If you look back and you’re proud of what you’ve accomplished...
I was born and raised in Washington, I’ve lived here my whole life. However, I have done a lot of traveling. Since I speak Russian fluently, as well as English, I haven’t traveled to Russia, but I’ve traveled to Lithuania twice with my family. I wasn’t too fond of that place because it feels like they stopped in the 1980’s era, because of the Soviet Union, like they’re not progressing at all. I do my fair share of traveling, not in the United States so much, but elsewhere. I do absolutely plan on staying in the United States, more specifically I want to stay in Washington. It is really my place, especially because I don’t like when it is really sunny, I prefer the rain.
Initially, when I was in high school, I wanted to be a firefighter, but then I switched to registered nurse, but after learning the requirements for that, I decided on physician for my job choice. It seemed more fun for me, especially after doing job shadowing, and I knew I wanted to become a doctor. My first step was to go to community college and get my AA. Then, I applied to both Gonzaga and SPU and I ended up getting into both. The deciding factors were actually that I would be able to commute to SPU and it seemed like SPU had a respectable pre-med program. I’m now in my third year here. Initially, I wanted to be a surgeon, but in the United States, it is very difficult to be a surgeon and have a family. It is possible of course, but the divorce rate is much higher, and it seems very challenging. That said, I’m aiming toward dermatology as I’ve always had an interest in it and watch videos about it on YouTube. Of course, it is not just about interest in the subject, as I do have other hobbies like fashion, but I’ve become less naïve about my goals. I think more realistically now, I’d say, about my goals about becoming a physician. My desire has matured over time as I’ve gained a better understanding of becoming a physician.
Another major life goal, other than career aspirations, for me, is to become a father. Another one is to eventually write a book, but to be a father is probably the biggest one. My family has been a major factor in that. Even right now, at twenty-two, whenever my brother and I visit my grandfather, he gets furious that we talk about anything other than dating and girls. Another element is to fill in the gaps of flaws that my father might have had in order to become a better parent. Even so, my parents have been very influential in my life.
I like this quote by this Russian philosopher, Ivan Ilyitch, translated from Russian of course, ‘Live life in a way which would be worth dying for.’ I think that speaks volumes about the way a person should live his life. It automatically underlines the idea of ‘to each his own,’ but when it’s time to leave, if you look back and you’re proud of what you’ve accomplished, I think there is no doubt our Heavenly Father is also proud of you.
I’m not scared of failure, not that I’m used to it, but it’s a thing that is part of life. You cannot get better at anything unless you’ve failed. What scares me is the fact that you cannot predict the future. Even if you have flawless courage, no one can guarantee you that you’ll get somewhere or that you become who you want to. Right now, I’m putting so much time into the one goal of becoming a physician, but I don’t know if that end goal will come into existence. It’s like the hope that my work will not be in vain if I end up doing something completely different. If the money makes up for it, I don’t care, but otherwise it’s so much money I’ve put into this school for no reason. I absolutely value stability. Sometimes, it is negative because I lose that sense of adventure like in Jack Kerouac’s On the Road, which is a fabulous story, but I could never in my life do that because uncertainty is the one thing that scares me. However, if someone says that they don’t have regrets, they seem bland, like they don’t take any risks. I have my regrets, I won’t start naming them all, but if you don’t have any, are you, like, real? Do you have a soul?
