I feel things too
People get a pretty instant impression of me that I’m out there, loud, exaggerated, floaty and spacey. I feel like they don’t think that there is a lot to me, which is so frustrating. I guess I wish they would see me as someone who is more than a floaty, happy girl; I feel things too and I have my own things that I am going through.
I am from Boulder, Colorado. I lived in the same house for eight years, before I moved a few times after that in the local area but never far away. I love Colorado and had never lived anywhere else, so moving here was a big change. I knew I wanted to go to school out of state, because I was pretty done with Colorado. I wanted a change and some distance from my high school. I wasn’t a super different person but I wanted to be more of myself and have a fresh start. I also wanted to stop running into everyone I knew. The transition was not as hard because I was ready to go, and have loved being in Washington so far.
From birth I have two best friends Sawyer and Susy. We are the three S’s and have grown up our entire lives together. We have done princess birthday parties, sleepovers, camping trips, and reunite every summer. They are my people in the way that they know me more than I know myself, and understand me more than my sisters do. I am hesitant to be myself around my sisters, because they don’t believe everything that I do.
Family is so complicated, and is the biggest stressor of my life. I have three older sisters and I am the youngest, so lots of girls. I have my mom and dad, but currently my mom is remarried to my stepdad and my dad has a girlfriend. They got divorced in 2012, and it was a big deal and the start to my family imploding. I was very mad at my mom for a long time and blamed her for a lot of things; however eventually I realized that my mother is human and things happen. I love my sisters, they are my role models and all very different in their own ways and from me. I am a stand-alone, as I am much more extroverted. I am a black sheep but still adore them.
Three years ago one of my sisters passed away. It is a very big reason I chose psychology, after that happened it solidified that I wanted to be a counselor and help anyone who is struggling. It was a suicide, and it was very unexpected.
My Mom is for sure the most important person in my life. We are very alike and she has always been a huge rock beside me through everything. She is very much a counselor to me, while I’ve been in Washington we have hours of phone calls. She is my backbone in God, she was there when everyone else left religion. She puts my thoughts into words constantly. She is very much a mama bear and is very protective of me.
