What’s my future going to be? What kind of job do I want?
When I was in China, especially in high school, most of my classmates were not Christian, so I felt like I was the only one. I felt that to be a Christian, I should do things differently. I didn’t pray a lot for a long time. In China, high school is the most important period in our lives, so I was focusing on studying and just didn’t pay attention to my faith. Suddenly I felt like my heart was so empty and wondered why life seemed so meaningless, and I felt like I should do something meaningful. So, one night I cried hard, and realized that I felt that I didn’t pray enough and didn’t go to church enough. When I graduated high school I was planning on going to a university in China, but since I’m a disabled person it’s really hard for me to study in China because people treat me differently. I found a way for me to study in the US because a lady who visited the foster family said she wanted to help someone. I was introduced to her and she helped me find a school here. During that time, I thought, “What’s my future going to be? What kind of job do I want for my future?” I first thought I wanted to be an interpreter because a lot of people do that in China. Then when I was volunteering at a bakery I observed a lot of other disabled people and how they act, how they think, their life. For me, I know I am disabled but I won’t ever think that I can’t go to school or I can’t do this or that. I feel like everyone is the same and if other people can do it, I can do it. I am slower at it, but I will do my best to do it. But for them, they felt “I don’t have family, and I am disabled so I can’t do anything.” For them everything is negative so I feel like I want to help them. I feel like that’s my calling so I decided to study psychology to be a counselor to help them be confident and accept that they’re disabled but know that they can do anything. You can do it, you may be slower at it than others, but you can do it. I just want to give them hope.
